The Honorable Judge Booty


today a 4 foot tall freshman in an angry birds t shirt pushed me out of the way because he “has an honors class to get to move peasant” 

(Source: rhinse)

phantom: hey
phantom: i just met you
phantom: and this is crazy
phantom: but i've been stalking you for years because since the moment i first heard you sing i have needed you with me to serve me to sing for my music so i gave you an excellent vocal training through the walls under the guise of the angel of music and/or your dead father and now that you've become a success overnight i'm really hoping you'll come and live underground with me and we can just fuck and sing all the time because you alone can make my song take flight
phantom: so call me maybe


my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV

so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe


Scooby Doo is the most useless member of the scooby doo team why is the show named after him, the show should be called Velma